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1st May
2010
written by LS Girl

Blowing a job interview isn’t always easy.  It takes courage, and creativity. How to interview when you don’t want the job provides the tools you’ll need, to blow it. 

Thankfully, I am happily employed.  But it wasn’t  long ago that I was interviewing, and this is one of my stories:

I’m working for an employer who has proven to be unsatisfactory, and I know I must move on.  I begin my search as most people do………. I call my mom and tell her that I can’t take it any more and I have to find something else.  She is supportive.  I use all the typical resources, online/print/networking/random calls to companies that interest me and I start getting bites.  One interview is with a national food distributor, the position is:  territory rep.  I like food, and it includes coffee, which I really like.  I receive a phone call from their receptionist and she schedules my interview with the VP of Sales.  He’s in town for two days and I am to meet with him.  My research begins, and I become an overnight expert on this company and its history, values and goals.  I show up 10 minutes early dressed for success;  I think I even styled my hair nicely.

As I’m waiting in the lobby, I make small talk with the receptionist that scheduled my interview.  We chat and laugh and I look at the awards on the walls and take in my surroundings.  Moments later, I see a very tall, thin man in a dark suit approaching from down a long hall way.  He arrives in the lobby and introduces himself.  We shake hands, firmly. I’m feeling good.

The feeling is short lived, and what happens next is beyond anything I’d ever experienced (almost).

The VP of Sales turns, and begins walking down the hall.  As I mentioned, he’s very tall, at least 6’5 or 6’6, and he’s moving along with a steady gait and I’m right on his heels.  I turn to thank the receptionist for her assistance.  I take a step forward, and turn to glance over my shoulder, raising my right hand to gesture a “thank you” with a little wave.  At some point, the VP stops walking to speak with an employee… and WHAMMO!  I crash right into him.  And then the real pain… I realize I’m about to fall, so, I start grasping violently at anything that might help me.  This is when it happens:

I grab his butt.

Like I own it.

His butt is the only thing preventing me from tumbling on to the floor.  I mean… I had a whole cheek firmly secured in my hand.  It probably left a mark!  The VP starts waiving his hands in the air saying, “She did it!  She touched me!  It wasn’t me!”  This only adds to my horror.

He continues escorting me to his office, where he kindly says, “I have some phone calls to make.  I’ll be back in ten minutes so we can both regain our composure.”  I spend my ten minutes thinking… Would I be able to work for this man?  I just grabbed his butt like I owned it.  Could I ever recover from this?  Would I always be “the girl that grabbed my butt” .  My raise would depend on him, and his opinion of me.  We finished the interview successfully, and he informs me that I am a candidate for a second interview with some other people.  Still shaken, I leave and go home.

According to job-interview law #43, I knew the proper next step was to make a follow up call, and thank him for his time:

phone: “Ring Ring…”

receptionist: “Thank you for calling XYZ company, how may I direct your call?”

me: “Hello!  I’m calling for Mr. VP of Sales, please tell him “THE STUMBLER” is on the line.”

Yup.

I met with this company again, and I did not accept the position.  Instead, I went to work for another company which is a much better fit for me, and where I haven’t yet completely humiliated myself, although my coworkers may disagree.

If you accidentally grab someone’s butt… do it with conviction.

 

~


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1 Comment

  1. 01/05/2010

    LS Girl,
    Your story made my day! I laughed so hard. And the pictures are so perfect. I wish I could be as creative as you. I’ve been so busy I haven’t blogged or sent a newsletter but now I am motivated.

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