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16th October
written by LS Girl

“If I can, I will put my baby on a diet at eight months old.”

Had she not said it three times, I would have walked out of the dermatologist’s waiting room and dismissed this as something I must have heard incorrectly.  As the office staff carried on with their chit-chat, the volume increased and there was no mistaking today’s topic –   fat babies.

Although I was distracted by my own skin issues, my thoughts quickly became focused on this baby. The baby’s mother was concerned that “maybe I’m so afraid she’ll get fat that I’m not feeding her enough.”

Banter ensued about breast milk, pumps, and how the baby seemed to like the mother’s left breast milk, but not the milk that came from the right breast. Laughter spilled out from behind the sliding glass window.  The conversation ebbed and flowed around the idea that a normal-weight baby looks skinny when it is compared to the chubby fast-food babies we see on the streets today.  Are they talking about human beings, or fashion? It was hard to tell.

My mind was racing with visions of Q-tip shaped babies in strollers, struggling to hold up their gigantic heads as their gray sunken eyes suddenly gained laser focus on my half eaten granola bar.  “Listen baby, this is my granola bar”, I communicate telepathically with the infant closest to me as a parade of carriages whisks by.

My sci-fi fantasy was interrupted by the sound of my name being mispronounced. It was my turn to see the doctor.  I stood up and gathered my things.  As I walked down the hall towards the examining room, I could hear the women’s conversation winding down.

“I’m going for a bagel, do you want one?” said the older of the two staff members from behind the window.

“No thanks”, the chubby-baby-hater replied.”

I was not surprised.


fat babies


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1 Comment

  1. 17/10/2013

    Oh, there is sooo much material here! Thanks for making me laugh this morning 🙂